When we first stepped into the world of respectful parenting we came across @tetaaporter.❤️ I always say she transformed us through her reflections.
She gave us so much that we decided our mission at Feroz would be "To spread a culture of respect for childhood, starting with the feet"🤲🏻🦶🦶.
And now I'll leave you with this beautiful piece by Romina Pérez Toldi, an educator specialising in early childhood… And a true sweetheart. 😘
🙃 Rethinking "You're fine"
Sometimes it seems to us that saying the famous "you're fine" will make what DID happen seem smaller, hurt less or somehow be played down, but the opposite happens. When we say "you're fine" about something that DID happen (even if it seems minor to us), we don't help make it lighter. What that phrase usually does is make the person hearing it feel misunderstood and alone.
If what we want is to comfort our sons and daughters after a fall, a bump, an upset or a frustration, it helps far more to take it on board, listen and let them know we understand them and are there for them. 👐 Using honest words, clear words, kind words; preparing them, describing, without dramatising, but without avoiding it or pretending "you're fine". If it hurts, it hurts.
If we take them to the doctor for a dressing or an uncomfortable or painful test, saying it won't hurt and that they'll be fine will only create mistrust and a feeling of abandonment in our children. We leave them alone in a situation that is sometimes hard even for adults.
The same goes for when they've fallen over, it hurts and we say "you're fine". It doesn't help: it will make them feel misunderstood and creates anger, frustration and a sense of loneliness. "They don't understand me, they don't listen to me, I'm alone and it hurts".
🦄 We want to be a safe place for our daughters and sons, a beacon of light, a harbour where they can come to rest from their adventures, that home they can always come back to, a lap that listens, supports them and helps them get up and carry on.
